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♥6.30.2009♥

School term started again yesterday. It was totally boring ad not welcomed back eagerly with open arms. I can't think of anything else to write for yesterday.
Today
Ooh yes there is a ton to write for today. Today was the worst day in the second semester. Ok, the worse day in the second semester. And I'm feeling really annoyed. My English teacher taught me summary today so I shall use the skills she imparted to me.
Today sucked because I felt really left out and I kinda fell out with my friend and now my mum is nagging at me.
Oops. Look like I got some more unfinished things about summary to master... The sentence looks a bit too long.
Gah. And I got my History PT (Some more marks deducted for leaving out relevant stuff)


♥6.27.2009♥

I'm bored...:(
I'm not supposed to be... I'm supposed to be using the laptop to do my Japanese homework research. But the moral of the story always is: Never ever put me alone with a computer because it's like letting a hungry cat into an empty room with a saucer of milk, then closing the door. I feel really unaccomplished this hols. :(
Life's really boring. It's always a routine. Everyday when I go to school the same things happen and nothing new's going on. I feel like my entire life's being revolved around studies and it feels totally meaningless. And now I'm flunking anything. Time to catch up. And yup, MJ died a few days ago. I suppose I do feel kinda sad but then I never ever heard his songs before. But I feel really angry, and I don't care what anyone else thinks, but I feel he never should have gone for a black-to-white operation. I don't even know for sure whether he did go for it because...yeah well I'm really confused. I'm doing my topic on racial identity and it makes me feel even more stongly against racial discrimination. I think the poems don't even resonate with me in terms of point-of-view but... What the heck!! That time I went to Melbourne and there was quite a lot of racial discrimination going on there. Against Asians. Of course there were the nice ones but still... Why must we judge people by their skin colours? Or nationalities? Once I read a book about the Japanese occupation and I really hated the Japanese for destroying so many's lives. But now I've decided not to let it affect what I think of Japanese now because it wasn't they who decided to start throwing bombs everywhere and kill innocent people. Come to think of it, maybe they were against it too and got hurt as well.
Conclusion: Never start a war
And I don't know how I managed to start from saying that I'm bored all the way down to saying that we shouldn't start wars. But thinking about the Japanese occupation reminds me of that Japanese poster I gotta do! Yikes. D:

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WOAH.
WOAH.
WOAh.
WOah.
Woah.
woah.
Hahahahahahaha. I'm in a weird mood. Ok actually I'm not but it's a long and lame story so nevermind.
My printer's finally working again!! :D:D:D
And I printed out the poems And now I'm on ebuddy. :D A form of msn. My friend Annie is forever trying to get me to download msn but I need my father's password and I'm too lazy...:P
:D
And I've stopped blogging for so long!! 8 days!! That's like 1 week and 1 day!!! And 192 hours!!! Which is not enough because the holidays are ending. Wait. Technically they have ended already and remember, dear readers, remember? When I told you I had Japanese homework to do last week?
Well I haven't even started on finishing it yet.
Oh gosh and today I went to the Guides carnival while my brother and parents went to watch Transformers. :D And they say it shouldn't have been rated half a star at all. Yeah! And I went to watch Ghosts of Girlfriends' Past and it definitely shouldn't have been rated half a star too. That reviewer is either psycho or something. Like my brother just told me that this guy went to complain about the reviews for Transformers and said that it should have been rated four and a half stars instead. Big jump.
Is the ratings nowadays biased or something?? I think they should have at least like three or even better five or even better a whole panel of judges rating so in case one of them is psycho or biased in some way or something, the rest of the judges will kindly explain to a infuriated him/her why it is brilliant and should be rated four stars instead of half and maybe even give him some money to get his eyes checked.
And now my brother is convinced that Transformers is the best show he's ever watched. Oh yeah, and speaking of which I watched three fugitives today. It's brilliant. Haha. It's a comedy. :D
And I really need to start on that stinking Japanese poster which I will probably fail anyway. Maybe I'll just take out the drawing block. Like Confuscius said, a thousand miles begin with one step. :D

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♥6.22.2009♥

Haah! I have to re-write the whole post because I clicked on the wrong button. Shoot!! D:
Anyway, the title spells it all already.
And I really got to start on my Jap homework. Great. Whoever invented homework was a genius. Who I want to kill.

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♥6.21.2009♥

Haha Happy Father's Day.
Today I went out for a steamboat with my cousins... :D Something rather weird happened in Kinokuniya but I can't go into details, or my particular cousin will kill me, haha.
Anyway, 2 days left!! To ghosts of girlfriends' past. Man, I can't wait to see my friend...she wasn't there during the gathering and I really miss her. I miss her the most in the whole of 6A. She's one of my closest friends and if she's reading this...just to let her know...I will treasure our friendship forever.
Eww I hate being mushy.

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♥6.18.2009♥

Great. Hotmail finally worked again! Haha I finished watching glittering days on tudou. It rocks. I love it haha! And the songs. They are kinda old but I don't care. :D
And now there's this scene in the ultimatium with Felicia the actress. I thought she was kinda pretty in tong xin yuan but she looks weird now. Haha nevermind:D
and I'm gonna watch ghosts of girlfriends' past with my dear dear friend on Monday. :D Great she just called me. It'sTuesday now. So there's one more day my mum can threaten me with. Oh well. Haha.

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♥6.15.2009♥

I just checked my e-mail and I'm getting so damned pissed off that I don't even care whether any of my 113 classmates reads this post.
Look. The main problem now is that the class doesn't want to co-operate so the gathering can't go smoothly. And after deciding to give it one last shot, I send all the ex-co an e-mail like 7 days ago, and until now, almost freaking nobody has replied.
Except dear Sarah and Bridget. Thanks guys.
And I know some of you are overseas but all of you can't be gone at one go right? Plus it's so many days' notice! If the freaking ex-co doesn't co-operate, how can we expect the rest of the class to?!
I was disappointed. In the class.
No I'm disappointed in the ex-co.
Plus hotmail. They did goodness know what to my e-mail account and now I can't even send messages at all! Thank goodness or I'll have scolded the ex-co long ago. D:
And if the ex-co still doesn't reply about how they feel it'll be too late to have the gathering and by then, it wouldn't be the class's fault. It'll be the ex-co's fault.

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I don't even know what to write for the title.
Well I guess I'll be spilling the beans about the class gat, but I shan't. It makes me remember. About things that I want to forget.
I don't know how to explain it but on the day of the class gathering, I felt I sort of didn't fit in. Even my good friend, (I shan't say ex-best friend) well...there was definitely some kind of barrier and I could tell we were drifting apart. I shall not think about it. D: I'm not angry or upset. Ok frankly, I am sad because it's like a great and beautiful part of my childhood has sort of disappeared and it's really painful to think about it, like it will never be the same again. I felf kinda lost after the gathering, so I wrote a poem. It's not completed though.
It's about pain and hope. Nearly all my poems are on pain and hope. Pain because I've experienced it and hope because I need it. Here goes:

Sometimes when your life may seem so down and so unfair,
it seems like nothing will ever help even when you're deep down in despair.

Your head feels torn, your heart aches, everything seems wrong,
Nothing's able to cheer you up, not even playing your favourite song.

Your happiness's gone, you feel lost, you thing you're going insane,
It feels like the smile you used to carry will never come again.

All the bad things seem to happen at one, you don't know how to act,
You feel that no matter what you think or say, it will never be correct,

But even in the darkest of days, not all hope is gone,
There will always be a new day, you just have to wait till dawn.

Yup that's all I finished till. After that I grabbed a harry potter book and went to bed. But I couldn't sleep. I kept mulling over the gat. Thinking about what happened. It didn't cheer me up. D:
Anyway next Monday I'm going to watch ghosts of girlfriends past! With my friend. Haha I can't wait to see her. :D

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♥6.13.2009♥

Haha. Today's the day. The big big day. As in the class gathering day. :D I think I'm over-reacting but I feel kinda nervous. Because I haven't seen my classmates for so long. And I miss them. All of them. (Don't look so skeptical - I mean it!)
Well anyway, I guess I'll just enjoy myself. Haha :D Great. I'm really nervous. I always type "haha" when I'm nervous. When I really want to show I'm laughing I go, "HAHAHAHAHAHA" but that's beyond the point.
Sigh. It's 10.24 already and the gathering starts at 11. Oh greatgreatgreatgreatgreat. What if I'm the first to arrive or something? Not likely but it would still be awkward... I'm not exactly Hwa Jin's BFF. Gah. I should just chill... Great. I'd better wake my father up soon.
:D:D:D:D:D:D

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Oh my gosh!
Oh gosh.
I realised I've been blogging for so many days and I didn't mention I'm going to the class gathering tomorrow! Haha well...
It's not that uber-great a thing but it sorta means a lot to me.
Yeesh and just now I told my mum I'm going to wake up at 8 bright and early tomorrow to study till 10.30 and my father scoffed the idea. He's saying he bet I won't do it, but I can tell, he's only saying that so that I will do it. Urgh. I'd better set my alarm.
Wish me luck! :D

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♥6.12.2009♥

I wake up feeling in a much better mood than usual because I just woke up at 11 o' clock. Crazy, I know. My parents were calling me down and when I walked downstairs they gaped at me, like, why are you still in your pyjamas? And at least I did practice the piano this morning. I consider this as an achievement.
And now my parents are accusing me of being addicted to the computer, so I got to go. D: Argh I hate this.

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5 seconds have barely passed and I'm already reflecting on my last post. Argh well I guess.
Now I really don't know what to do with myself, there's no one I can talk to...

I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-Ive got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together-Ive got to pull myself together-I've got to pull myself together

O.o nice pattern. It's weird doing this, but at least it's better than freaking out about my grades and it gives me something like a boost. Maybe repeatedly-typing it will really make me pull myself together! Haha I wish. But I just got to depend on myself. I don't ever want to be like this again...

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Great. As the title already suggests, here I am complaining about everything in my life. Everything that has happened to me. Every bad thing to be more exact.
I'm on ebuddy now chatting to some of my friends because I'm in a conference and that sorta took my mind off things. But thank goodness, with my kind of luck, the thing hanged. I'm already thanking my lucky stars that the whole computer hasn't hanged as well.
And know what? Right now, all the lights, except a few, have stopped working. And this means I have to get around in the complete darkness on my own. Even when I bathe I have to bathe by candlelight. Not very enticing. (But don't worry, I just put it on the ledge. I don't hold one candle in my hand and bathe at the same time.) And have you ever felt that eating in this dark place with only a small light source is romantic? Well I assure you it isn't. Especially when the one you're eating with is your super-annoying brother.
Great. I just opened a new window trying to go back to the conference so I can take my mind of things. But obviously it didn't work. I'm kicked out of the conference.
Argh. And I just checked the SMO results and it turns out I didn't get into the Invitationals. I knew I flunked it. I don't even think I can get a bronze. I feel really and especially down today, like there are so many things (and I'm not talking about material stuff) others have. I feel really limited and inferior and no matter how I try to cheer myself up it doesn't work. I hate being pessimistic. And saying that you can't help it is being pessimistic.
That's it. I officially decided that I'm going through a rough patch in my life now. I seldom feel so upset and demoralised but this feeling comes to me really often now. It's like at the start of the day I keep telling myself to make full use of today and in the afternoon I can't take it and I start to slack then at night like right now I hate myself for slacking and I tell myself I'd better do it right tomorrow but this feeling deep inside my gut tells me that I'll never make it tomorrow. D: Argh I want to see a counseller.
I'm worried about so many things now. Which I shall not name. And I know I'm just being paranoid but it still keeps me awake at night. And right now, it doesn't help that all my friends are doing so well and having fun. This is going to be the worst June holidays ever.

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♥6.09.2009♥

Oh my gosh! Finally! I reached home yesterday at 1 in the morning! I love Singapore. And yep, I know I spelt Melbourne wrongly but nevermind. Anyways, :D!!
I feel so happy.
Yesterday I blogged a LOT and I wanted to post it but the website couldn't contact blogger don't know what thing so...well I guess.
Anyway sigh...I'm bored. That's one thing I love about being in Singapore. I can be bored. Haha! :D

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Oh my gosh!! I reached home. Finally. Goodness. Thank goodness. I really love Singapore. A lot. Alotalotalotalotalotalot. Whew. I really missed Singapore. I love Singapore! Did I mention I love Singapore? Oh right I did. Everything. From the SBS busses to the stifling heat. Well...at least I wouldn't have to wear thick woollen clothes all day and cringe everytime I sit on the cold cold toilet seat. Eww. D:

Anyway, I've made my plans to work harder. I just told my friend Keefe today about my GPA and to describe it in one word, he was shocked. Plain shocked. And in a bad way. D: I really really need to pull my socks up. I feel like...I don't know! I guess my mum was right all along after all. I've been far too complacent. I let myself drop after I thought I did well for PSLE. Urgh. I only climbed one-third of the mountain and now I'm already slowing down! I must pull my socks up!!

Urgh.

And if anyone tells me that sounds auntie-ish, well, since you know how aunties behave so well why don't you go be one yourself? I'm sorry that sounded pretty harsh but I really want to vent my feelings. And if my friend happens to drop by this blog, just so you know. I can't stand people telling me how I behave like. It really really really really sucks. Once or twice it might be just funny. But after a while...D: Words can hurt the soul. I know you mean it in a good and light-hearted way, but can you stand it if someone keeps telling you you are this and that? And when you don't like it too. The way I dress, speak, blahblah. Look I can't help it. If I'm born this way, I can't go for a personality transplant right? What do you want me to do? Take my DNA out and change my genes? I don't know what and why I'm ranting on actually, but since I started I might as well not stop


♥6.02.2009♥

Haha. This is like, so cool! I finished SMO and now I'm in the airport, blogging away! Thabk goodness for the free Internet access. :D
:D I really better make this snappy because they only allow you to use it for like 15 minutes.D: I'm leaving for Melbourne soon and I'm really excited! :D It finally finally sinks in that I'm on holiday after the SMO because before that, all I could think about was that I have SMO today. Argh D:
Oh yeah, and speaking of SMO, it was terrible. I can't believe that I actually even bothered studying. If that's the Junior, I can't imagine what the Senior paper would be like. *shudders*
Argh! 6 minutes and 23 seconds left. I hate the stupid timer! Timer I hate you, I hate you now reset yourself back to 10h. D:
Haha. I don't care. I'm going to ignore the stupid timer and if it goes out before I publish this post I'm going to just write it all over again. :DDDDD Nothing's gonna spoil my mood! (Except for SMO D:)
Haha. :D Gotta go now! :D:D:D:D

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♥6.01.2009♥

Argh! SMO is tomorrow! I'm getting a bit, I mean very worried, especially since I don't know how to do so many questions. D: Bleh. Plus, I don't even know whether I will reach the correct place and I have no idea how I'm going to go home either. and do I wear my school uniform? Oh yeah, I think so.
D: There are so many things to worry about. D: Tomorrow's also my brother's birthday and the day I go to Merborne. Then on my birthday, I have to sit for this Australian Math Competition. And my Math competition-training teacher wants us to get at least a silver in this SMO competition lest we'll be kicked out of the competition training. Swell. Personally, I wouldn't exactly mind so much about getting kicked out but...D:
I'm pretty sure I will get kicked out.
Nevermind, I shall just try my best and even if I don't even manage to get a bronze and every other single pupil in my school gets a platinum, I shan't care because I already did my best. :D

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