♥6.12.2009♥
Great. As the title already suggests, here I am complaining about everything in my life. Everything that has happened to me. Every bad thing to be more exact.
I'm on ebuddy now chatting to some of my friends because I'm in a conference and that sorta took my mind off things. But thank goodness, with my kind of luck, the thing hanged. I'm already thanking my lucky stars that the whole computer hasn't hanged as well.
And know what? Right now, all the lights, except a few, have stopped working. And this means I have to get around in the complete darkness on my own. Even when I bathe I have to bathe by candlelight. Not very enticing. (But don't worry, I just put it on the ledge. I don't hold one candle in my hand and bathe at the same time.) And have you ever felt that eating in this dark place with only a small light source is romantic? Well I assure you it isn't. Especially when the one you're eating with is your super-annoying brother.
Great. I just opened a new window trying to go back to the conference so I can take my mind of things. But obviously it didn't work. I'm kicked out of the conference.
Argh. And I just checked the SMO results and it turns out I didn't get into the Invitationals. I knew I flunked it. I don't even think I can get a bronze. I feel really and especially down today, like there are so many things (and I'm not talking about material stuff) others have. I feel really limited and inferior and no matter how I try to cheer myself up it doesn't work. I hate being pessimistic. And saying that you can't help it is being pessimistic.
That's it. I officially decided that I'm going through a rough patch in my life now. I seldom feel so upset and demoralised but this feeling comes to me really often now. It's like at the start of the day I keep telling myself to make full use of today and in the afternoon I can't take it and I start to slack then at night like right now I hate myself for slacking and I tell myself I'd better do it right tomorrow but this feeling deep inside my gut tells me that I'll never make it tomorrow. D: Argh I want to see a counseller.
I'm worried about so many things now. Which I shall not name. And I know I'm just being paranoid but it still keeps me awake at night. And right now, it doesn't help that all my friends are doing so well and having fun. This is going to be the worst June holidays ever.Labels: complaining, June, mugging, SMO, worried
|
♥6.02.2009♥
Haha. This is like, so cool! I finished SMO and now I'm in the airport, blogging away! Thabk goodness for the free Internet access. :D
:D I really better make this snappy because they only allow you to use it for like 15 minutes.D: I'm leaving for Melbourne soon and I'm really excited! :D It finally finally sinks in that I'm on holiday after the SMO because before that, all I could think about was that I have SMO today. Argh D:
Oh yeah, and speaking of SMO, it was terrible. I can't believe that I actually even bothered studying. If that's the Junior, I can't imagine what the Senior paper would be like. *shudders*
Argh! 6 minutes and 23 seconds left. I hate the stupid timer! Timer I hate you, I hate you now reset yourself back to 10h. D:
Haha. I don't care. I'm going to ignore the stupid timer and if it goes out before I publish this post I'm going to just write it all over again. :DDDDD Nothing's gonna spoil my mood! (Except for SMO D:)
Haha. :D Gotta go now! :D:D:D:DLabels: holidays, Melbourne, SMO
|
♥6.01.2009♥
Argh! SMO is tomorrow! I'm getting a bit, I mean very worried, especially since I don't know how to do so many questions. D: Bleh. Plus, I don't even know whether I will reach the correct place and I have no idea how I'm going to go home either. and do I wear my school uniform? Oh yeah, I think so.
D: There are so many things to worry about. D: Tomorrow's also my brother's birthday and the day I go to Merborne. Then on my birthday, I have to sit for this Australian Math Competition. And my Math competition-training teacher wants us to get at least a silver in this SMO competition lest we'll be kicked out of the competition training. Swell. Personally, I wouldn't exactly mind so much about getting kicked out but...D:
I'm pretty sure I will get kicked out.
Nevermind, I shall just try my best and even if I don't even manage to get a bronze and every other single pupil in my school gets a platinum, I shan't care because I already did my best. :D Labels: competition, SMO, worried
|
♥5.26.2009♥
Urgh what's wrong with me? The title sounds like some cheem novel. But haha...anyway
Urgh (my second urgh. I must be really grouchy today) , I can't believe I was ranting on some stupid thing about Jealousy yesterday, it seem so long ago. Anyway today I got back my Intrine (is this the correct spelling?) Report on my grades, and no words could describe how I felt. Haha. But let me assure you first, it has nothing to do with happiness.
Okok. Frankly speaking, I wasn't much bothere by it at first. Then when my friends started complaining about their much higher grade, I felt like...D: Blehh. Then as I was walking home, I couldn't help it. I started crying. I told myself I would study so much harder. And here I am blogging. D:
And my mum forbids me to go for a movie with the rest of my friends this Friday. (School's cancelled. :D) She apparently wants me to study for my SMO competition. What the...? Fine. I promised I would study. But I bet even if I study 10 hours I wouldn't even get a bronze. D: The past-year questions are a more than enough sign.
Gosh...I'm really counting down till the hols...Labels: angry, Report, SMO
|
|
|
