♥6.12.2009♥
Great. As the title already suggests, here I am complaining about everything in my life. Everything that has happened to me. Every bad thing to be more exact.
I'm on ebuddy now chatting to some of my friends because I'm in a conference and that sorta took my mind off things. But thank goodness, with my kind of luck, the thing hanged. I'm already thanking my lucky stars that the whole computer hasn't hanged as well.
And know what? Right now, all the lights, except a few, have stopped working. And this means I have to get around in the complete darkness on my own. Even when I bathe I have to bathe by candlelight. Not very enticing. (But don't worry, I just put it on the ledge. I don't hold one candle in my hand and bathe at the same time.) And have you ever felt that eating in this dark place with only a small light source is romantic? Well I assure you it isn't. Especially when the one you're eating with is your super-annoying brother.
Great. I just opened a new window trying to go back to the conference so I can take my mind of things. But obviously it didn't work. I'm kicked out of the conference.
Argh. And I just checked the SMO results and it turns out I didn't get into the Invitationals. I knew I flunked it. I don't even think I can get a bronze. I feel really and especially down today, like there are so many things (and I'm not talking about material stuff) others have. I feel really limited and inferior and no matter how I try to cheer myself up it doesn't work. I hate being pessimistic. And saying that you can't help it is being pessimistic.
That's it. I officially decided that I'm going through a rough patch in my life now. I seldom feel so upset and demoralised but this feeling comes to me really often now. It's like at the start of the day I keep telling myself to make full use of today and in the afternoon I can't take it and I start to slack then at night like right now I hate myself for slacking and I tell myself I'd better do it right tomorrow but this feeling deep inside my gut tells me that I'll never make it tomorrow. D: Argh I want to see a counseller.
I'm worried about so many things now. Which I shall not name. And I know I'm just being paranoid but it still keeps me awake at night. And right now, it doesn't help that all my friends are doing so well and having fun. This is going to be the worst June holidays ever.Labels: complaining, June, mugging, SMO, worried
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♥6.01.2009♥
Argh! SMO is tomorrow! I'm getting a bit, I mean very worried, especially since I don't know how to do so many questions. D: Bleh. Plus, I don't even know whether I will reach the correct place and I have no idea how I'm going to go home either. and do I wear my school uniform? Oh yeah, I think so.
D: There are so many things to worry about. D: Tomorrow's also my brother's birthday and the day I go to Merborne. Then on my birthday, I have to sit for this Australian Math Competition. And my Math competition-training teacher wants us to get at least a silver in this SMO competition lest we'll be kicked out of the competition training. Swell. Personally, I wouldn't exactly mind so much about getting kicked out but...D:
I'm pretty sure I will get kicked out.
Nevermind, I shall just try my best and even if I don't even manage to get a bronze and every other single pupil in my school gets a platinum, I shan't care because I already did my best. :D Labels: competition, SMO, worried
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♥5.20.2009♥
Argh sheesh. I practically flunked Chemistry... :(
************************* I totally feel like cursing right now because I did work hard for Chem. And if I don't do well, (which I didn't), then there is absolutely no hope of me being able to take triple science. Then there is no hope for me to go to medical school. Then there is no hope of me becoming a paedatrician. Then I can't help poor, suffering children!! Sheesh I'm being paranoid. :(
And the Guides AA dance is weird. I like the cool part but it's so difficult!! My PL is so good at dancing. Urgh. I suck at dancing.
Now we have to learn three dances. Mass dance, Jive, and the AA dance. My partner for Jive is Nanshan!! :D It's kinda cool!! Only sad thing is that I'm the guy (because I'm taller). But girls have to do more. Ha!!Labels: dance, worried
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