Great. As the title already suggests, here I am complaining about everything in my life. Everything that has happened to me. Every bad thing to be more exact.
I'm on ebuddy now chatting to some of my friends because I'm in a conference and that sorta took my mind off things. But thank goodness, with my kind of luck, the thing hanged. I'm already thanking my lucky stars that the whole computer hasn't hanged as well.
And know what? Right now, all the lights, except a few, have stopped working. And this means I have to get around in the complete darkness on my own. Even when I bathe I have to bathe by candlelight. Not very enticing. (But don't worry, I just put it on the ledge. I don't hold one candle in my hand and bathe at the same time.) And have you ever felt that eating in this dark place with only a small light source is romantic? Well I assure you it isn't. Especially when the one you're eating with is your super-annoying brother.
Great. I just opened a new window trying to go back to the conference so I can take my mind of things. But obviously it didn't work. I'm kicked out of the conference.
Argh. And I just checked the SMO results and it turns out I didn't get into the Invitationals. I knew I flunked it. I don't even think I can get a bronze. I feel really and especially down today, like there are so many things (and I'm not talking about material stuff) others have. I feel really limited and inferior and no matter how I try to cheer myself up it doesn't work. I hate being pessimistic. And saying that you can't help it is being pessimistic.
That's it. I officially decided that I'm going through a rough patch in my life now. I seldom feel so upset and demoralised but this feeling comes to me really often now. It's like at the start of the day I keep telling myself to make full use of today and in the afternoon I can't take it and I start to slack then at night like right now I hate myself for slacking and I tell myself I'd better do it right tomorrow but this feeling deep inside my gut tells me that I'll never make it tomorrow. D: Argh I want to see a counseller.
I'm worried about so many things now. Which I shall not name. And I know I'm just being paranoid but it still keeps me awake at night. And right now, it doesn't help that all my friends are doing so well and having fun. This is going to be the worst June holidays ever.Labels: complaining, June, mugging, SMO, worried
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